Home Isn't Where The Heart Is

At this moment, I am happy.

I'm sitting in my parents' home in beautiful Santa Rosa, California.

I have no stress.

I have no worries.

I'm with my amazing parents.

And yet, I can't wait to get back to Provo, Utah.

...

Let me explain.

As time passes, and memories are made in varying places, home eventually becomes a simple location.

It's comfortable, it shelters loved ones, and yet, it's difficult to identify with.

So, when I say home isn't where the heart is, I'm really saying that:

My Home: is in her testimony

My Sister Wilks lives 2,000 miles away. I haven't seen her in 16 months. Despite these depressing facts, I feel closer to her now than I ever have. As I read her letters, the spirit heals my wounds. Her raw testimony bleeds Nephi strength, Joseph faith, and Hinkley determination.

I identify with that.

My Home: is in his growth and daily triumphs

With Cal living so close, I'm able to see him daily. This exposure allows me to feel his spirit while it goes through the flames. He faces trials, troubling things find him, Satan is his #1 fan. In the face of this reality, Calvin changes his perspective. He sees what he wants to see. He makes good of an impossible situation. He finds a trail at a dead end. It may not always be the right trail, it might contain a steep incline, but at least he's moving.

I identify with that.

My Home: is in their strength and undeniable love

These two people work so hard. Not only with work, not only with church, but in every aspect of life. They seriously give 100%, 100% of the time. No, they're not perfect, but they have a perfect desire to reach perfection. And the thing I love? They don't want to get there alone. So they spend their time serving those around them; always trying to better their neighbors' situation. They understand the importance of gathering the flock, and they do so with love, faith, and confidence.

That I identify with.

These are my people. Our hearts cover three different states. Our lives are all completely different; unique and difficult in their own way.

Home is so not where the heart is.

Home is where you're happy.

And I find my happiness in them.

-h

Can't Sleep

I'm ridiculous.

It's 3AM and I couldn't be more awake. Lucky for you, this insomnia will result in a painfully dull blog post.

Buckle up.

On my mind: the blessings of tithing.

Before this week, I'd never experienced anything significant as a result of being a full tithe payer. But boy, do I have a story for you...

So there I was, May 1st, with $10.95 in my abundant bank account. Gap's scheduling emails were M.I.A., Real Estate work was minimal, and with the lack of a vehicle, going out and finding new work was difficult.

Somehow, Hannah Bird Wilks had to come up with $320.00 by the 5th. I know, you're intrigued.

Moving on...

While any sane person would be freaking out at these monkey problems (reference "The Office" quotes), I was unusually calm. Some might say I was being apathetic. I on the other hand know that it was the Spirit gently assuring me that a reaction other than action wasn't necessary.

So action I took.

Each day, I worked random jobs for R.E. From painting walls, to trips to the dump, I was able to make a good amount of money.

May 5th. Rent's due. I was still short $90.00.

That morning, I went in to Gap, my only agenda: to figure out 1) if I was secretly fired and they figured the classiest way to tell me was to not tell me, and 2) if I wasn't fired, than WHAT THE HECK.

After a discussion with one of my managers, I learned that I'm still under their employ, and that they're not sure why the scheduling happened the way that it did. Cool.

"Oh, and we have a check for you, Hannah," Tim calls as I'm heading out the door.

Sweet, I think...a check totaling zero dollars and zero cents considering the fact that I didn't work a single shift in two weeks time.

I sit in my car, pouting, tired, stressed. I open up the pointless envelope.

$70.00.

Seriously?

$70.00.

WHAT!?

After dying laughing, I call my mom. (I had to celebrate with someone...).

It makes no sense. There's no logic to it. There's no explanation.

Other than you do your part, He does His.

We can give excuses, make exceptions, but when it comes down to it, we know what we need to do, and we're aware of the happiness available to us through obidience.

Simply beautiful, beautifully simple.

Looking forward to: World Cup 2010, the return of Ms. Sydney, a Brandy Stubbs reunion, a sandal tan, a new job, watermelon, and family time.

Also, Mother's Day. I'm sure it will be somewhat sad considering the fact that I won't be with my mom, but I love having a day where I can think about the person that makes my existence possible. Without her (and douglas) I would not be. I wouldn't have my spirit, my heart, my mind. My smile, my jaw line, my bad nails. I wouldn't have her strength, or her desire to be yet stronger.

Forget Mother's Day. It's Mommy's Day. MY Mommy's Day.

Heure de dormir.

Jusqu'a la fois prochaine...

Je t'aime ♥ Bonne nuit