some things i don't understand.

why do i try so hard to be girly and paint my nails when they just chip after two hours?
why do people stare at cafe rio?
why is it that the more i learn, the more i realize how much i don't know?
why does it take me so long to fall asleep?
why do i wait until i'm completely out of toiletries to then buy more?
why do people still smoke cigarettes?
why is provo so obsessed with trends?...cupcakes, frozen yogurt..
why am i so bad at blogging?
why doesn't the state of utah recycle?
we always try to show strangers our best selves, and then revert to our flawed, lazy everyday lives; don't we deserve our best selves daily?
why didn't i get braces?
why do people leave voicemails saying "call me back"...i see that you called..i will call you back.
why does the weather affect my mood so severely?
why do i write all my missionaries letters and NEVER send them?
why did we have to learn cursive?
why do i get such satisfaction out of finding new, unknown music?
why is rejection so dang scary? what the heck do i have to lose?
why do i have so much more fun when i'm in sweats and a tee than when i'm all done up?
why don't i always wear my glasses?...it's nice to realize who i'm waving to.
why do some mormons swear?
why is it that the more weddings i go to, the more i just want to elope?
why do i get my best sleep when i'm laying flat on the floor like a 3 yr old?
why is it impossible for me to speak without abbreviations and accents?
why do i feel like i'm going to have no friends when i come home from the mission?

...

...there's a lot more where that came from...

one month from today, i'll be sittin in the mtc with a goofy orange sticker on my name tag.
i don't want to deal with goodbyes. i might just sneak my way out of provo.
i'll probably never see my people again anyway, so....no harm no foul, right? they'll be busy with their spouses and babies. so we're good.

that's all i got.
xo, h.