times like these

i have a lot of friends. close friends. we know everything about each other, we discuss, analyze, and share ev er y thing. but i only realized lately that i do a lot of listening and advice giving and not a lot of advice receiving. not sure why that is.

cause sometimes...like tonight...i really need it.

and that's why i'm thankful for my sweetheart courtney honka.

the past two days have been awful. impossible. an intense test of my faith. i'll share the list of issues i faced soon...

but at the end of the day:

my interview is over

my papers are in

and while it's impossible to describe how thoroughly happy i feel, it's equally impossible to share how powerful satan is.

i'm instantly thinking i'm not cut out for this. i'm not spiritual enough. the most amazing people i know AREN'T going on missions, what does that tell me..?

all such stupid thoughts. all coating the back of my mind.

and then...

"don't let yourself have those thoughts or get discouraged or down about it...its the right decision for you, you know that, the Lord has told you, and although satan's provided obstacles and tried to prohibit you, the Lord has made it possible and provided a way for you to get everything done you need to and tomorrow is the last big step! He loves you, there are soo many things that prove it! He wants you out in the field on His side fighting for the right and against satan. You're more an example than you know hannah bird, don't be afraid of being completely amazing."

what would i do without my people? not much.

thank you to everyone who has helped me reach the potential Heavenly Father has designed for me. the smallest most pointless gestures have truly made all the difference.

i know it sounds dramatic, and sappy, but im not good at expressing myself when it comes to overwhelming love.

and that's what i'm feeling.

just know that if you're in my life, it's because i need you in my life.

so stay.

surgery in t-minus 8 hours. sleepytime.

♥bird