Sunday

with syd being back, i have no one to write on sundays.

strangely i still have the urge to write/reflect on my life, so thank goodness for this silly thing.

i've had a good week.

followed some promptings, got mad blessings.

simple as that.

i have to move out of my apt the 20th and can't move into my new place til the 27th.

haha....ahhhhh ahahahah. aaahahahahah. this should be interesting.

i saw eat pray love yesterday.

oh man. i really wish i could spend time with liz. we speak the same language.

her life is an inspiration. the whole time while watching the movie, i was thinking, "man, if the missionaries got a hold of this woman, she could move mountains."

literally. she has energy, passion, vigor.

she's able to see how big she can become, yet remembering all the while how small she is.

a perfect balance of self confidence, and humility.

yea, i know it's just a movie based on a book. whatever.

it still forces you to take a look at your own crap.

what exactly do you do each day?

are you happy? are you even trying to find happiness?

if everyone in your life disappeared, would a "you" even remain? or are you so completely defined by those around you that you'd crumble in those first moments of desolation?

scary to think about.

for me, it changes day to day.

sometimes i feel the most powerful when i'm completely alone. sitting, walking, thinking. i'm very content in my own skin, in my own life, with my own relationship with my Heavenly Father. just as me. just hannah.

and then there are days when i'm with a sibling, or i'm talking to a parent on the phone, where i feel like i'm seven years old again...where if they left my side, i'd get scared, lost, and teary-eyed.

anyway....good thing we know what happens when we die.

someone tell liz.

there are some big things happening in my family right now. super exciting.

stressful, scary, but exciting.

it's way weird being two states away from those four freaks. i know for a fact that i'm supposed to be out here right now, but it does make me sad from time to time. especially with some of the changes that are rapidly taking place.

it's all good though. people are looking out for me...whether they know it or not.

one last thing from liz...and then i'll shut up. promise.

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..." (ahem...Heavenly Father..)

i love that.

so here's to life:

all the difficult, impossible pain that makes us breath deeper, see clearer, and love stronger.

observe the struggle, respect the crap, and reflect on the scars.

oh, and eat 4 krispy kreme at 2am.

i may or may not have done that last night :)

♥bird