sunny love

what up spring fever.
a few thoughts on this sweet thing we like to call dating.
the slc temple played hostess to my friend and me this afternoon. we walked and talked and drank in the sun.
we discussed our dating lives. what he wants. what i want. what we feel. what we don't understand.
i quickly realized just how silly we all are. how complicated we make things.
our minds play the worst tricks on us when we discover the courage to admit that we admire another person.
suddenly, getting closer to this wonderful individual is synonymous to climbing mt. timp in flip flops.
why?
fear is honestly the root of all things lame in my life. dating included.
i fear rejection. i fear being vulnerable. i fear repeating my past. i fear misunderstanding how i feel. i fear misunderstanding how they feel. i fear changing into a mold of what someone else wants. i fear not being able to open up. i fear them not being able to handle my wildness. i fear losing dear friends. i fear things moving too fast.
i fear deciding. i fear regretting. i fear committing.
no matter who you are, or how awesome you feel, everyone has apprehensions when it comes to dating.
pretty dumb though.
real dumb.
here's the thing folks. all i want, and really, all anyone wants, is that perfect pally who you find beautiful inside and out.
someone to go on adventures with. someone to try new things with. someone to "laugh til you die" with. someone who just gets you. someone who brings out the hyper in you. someone who loves not only you, but your family as well.
nothing too serious. nothing too intense.
if things develop, right on.
if not, lets enjoy the good times.
with spring around the corner, you can tangibly feel people reaching out to one another. making memories, wanting to make some more.
pretty fun.
i'm making a pledge to myself that i'm going to let my fears melt away with the snow.
how? i dunno. just gonna give my best effort to be crazy silly out-there from the get-go. try it with me?
swell.

enjoy love in the sun dear friends.
if you're with your person already, be patient, forgiving, and kind.
if you're still lookin for them, search with your ray bans on :)

-h

ps// "dating is the bane of my existence." courtney honka.